By ALYSSA LAMIRANDE
June 08, 2020
5 Ways To Be A Godly Friend
Have any of you ever told your friends that you would talk to them soon and then wait weeks before you text them? Or you’d go grab coffee or lunch one day and that one day still hasn’t come?
me too, me too...
Because I certainly have. I am guilty of saying something but not actually sticking to it because I let life get in the way. I felt like I was notorious for doing this last year. Between work, school and my marriage I found it difficult finding time for anything. Thankfully my friends love me enough to stick around even though we don’t see each other as often. Hunter and I filled out Jennie Allen’s dream guide at the end of last year. We reflected on things we wanted to accomplish, let go and what we needed to improve on. One of my goals I knew I wanted to work on is being a better friend. Here are five ways that I am working on not only trying to be a good friend, but a Godly one:
hold each other accountable...
Do you have a friend who is making unwise decisions? Are they going down a dark path? Indulging in unhealthy habits? Such as gossiping? I think this is something we are all guilty of. The bible says in Proverbs 16:28 that gossip will separate close friends. It is your job as their friend to have those hard conversations because you don’t want to see them fall into a pattern of sin. These conversations will be tough because you aren’t going to want to hurt the other person’s feelings. But in friendships, we can’t be offended when our friend is trying to point us in the right direction. These conversations will be out of love. As Proverbs 27:6 says, faithful are the wounds of a friend.
bear each other's burdens...
Galatians 6:2 tells us to bear each other’s burdens. In order to do this, we need to be open and transparent, friendship cannot be one sided. We also need to be a safe place for them. If a friend comes to us with their struggles we shouldn’t judge, and we most definitely cannot share their struggles with anyone else. They told you, not someone else and God allowed them to come to you for a reason which brings me into my next point.
listen and counsel well...
Listen to each other and look to the bible for a way to respond. Find a passage or a few verses that relate to the issue or situation and use those words to give advice. You can even use the verses as daily texts to encourage and to let them know you are thinking of them. This is your chance to counsel and point your friends in the right direction. Challenge each other to put your faith in God. You should cause each other to not only lean on but also love God more.
Make time for each other! In life we often get so busy and wrapped in our lives and messes that we can put our friends on the back burner. I saw a post the other day that said, “It takes 2.5 seconds to text hi, there are 24hrs in a day. If I’m not worth 2.5 seconds of your time, you aren’t worth a position in my life.” Which sounds harsh but so true, it takes only a few minutes to check in with someone and say, “hey, I’m thinking about you. I saw this verse that I wanted to send to you, I’m here for you”. Here are a few other ways to be intentional:
– Phone calls if you can’t find an actual time to meetup. I often call my friends on my drives home from work to check in and see how they are.
– Do you have a friend who is sick? Going through a breakup or event just a hard season of life? Send them a card! Erin Condren has an all occasion stationary card set that is only $20 and perfect to keep on hand. One of my friends recently dealt with a guy that was horrible to her. I wanted her to know that despite the things he said to her and things he didn’t do for her, she is worth it, she is worthy of a great guy and that she is loved. So, I sent her a little gift from Greetabl. Which is the cutest site, they have gifts for all different occasions (birthdays, just because, missing you, graduations, for moms, dads, etc.). You pick the style box you want, pick the gift you want to send, add a personal message and some photos and bam you’re done! So simple, easy and exciting to put together.
– Celebrate the small things not just the big things like marriage and babies. Not all of our friends are in the same season of life we are in so it’s important that we still celebrate them wherever they are. Did they get a new promotion at work? Celebrate! Did they get a raise? Celebrate! Did they get a dog? Celebrate! A new apartment? Celebrate it! Stephanie May Wilson has an amazing podcast (Girls Night) that covers this topic! I highly recommend giving it a listen. I’ve linked the podcast and episode for you HERE.
– Most importantly love them, God calls us to love one another.
be a prayer partner...
One of the best ways we can love one another is to pray for each other. One of the many books I read while in quarantine was, Where Do I Go? From the House of Hope series written by Neta Jackson. Incredible series! It only took me 3 weeks to read all 4 books, I couldn’t put them down. However, in the story the main character, Gabby Fairbanks, and her best friend Jodi Baxter are prayer partners. Whenever one is facing something big or small, they pick up the phone to call each other, meet for coffee or talk at church and they pray together. They don’t just tell each other they will pray for each other, they stop what they are doing and pray together in the moment or in the midst of the battle they are facing. I highly encourage you to pray for your friends when it’s just you and God, but I also encourage you to pray with your friends. I have only had a couple of friends pray with me in my lifetime. They prayed with me while I was on the phone with them or talking to them in person. And the love I felt for them and God during the interaction was indescribable. Prayer does big things. Not only will it help strengthen your faith, but theirs as well. We won’t always be able to be there for our friends the way they need us to be, but we can pray which is even better. Prayer changes everything.